Sunday, April 21, 2013

What If IPL match reports were written by corporate brochure copy-writers ?

by Anand Ramachandran, who has written copy for more corporate brochures than he would like to admit.

With M.S.Dhoni becoming a VP of India Cements, Australian cricketers being suspended for not making Power-Point slides and sixers being referred to as Yes!Bank maximums - what next in the corporate-bladization of cricket? Why, match reports of course! Why depend on silly journalists and reporters to crank out daily match reports when we can just hire some lame copywriters to write up reports using the same awesome techniques they use to sell companies and brands? That way, reading about cricket matches can be as exciting and thrilling as reading corporate brochures and watching corporate videos! Not convinced? Here's a sampler of Saturdays CSK-KKR match written in corporate-bladese.

CSK vs KKR -  A step towards a winning future.

CSK is the market leader in IPL cricket matches - with an unmatched record backed by strong consistent performance and a clear vision for our future roadmap.

A powerful combination of best-in-class fielding, efficient middle-overs management and top of the line finishing is what we at CSK depended on for success in the match against KKR on Saturday evening.

CSK - Delivering stakeholder value

Always at the forefront of innovation. First we inovated by opening the bowling with Ashwin. Next, we innovated by opening the batting with him. In the coming months, we will roll-out plans to open the fielding with him.

Our world class pace and spin bowling practices helped usher in a low total to chase, ensuring that KKR was restricted to a low total that is typical of our competitors in the IPL. It is performances like these that give our stakeholders the confidence that CSK will deliver the value they expect from the market leader in the world's premier T20 tournament.

The CSK advantage

Ravindra Jadeja reflected the CSK commitment to excellence by delivering several  best-in-class sixes in the end overs to ensure successful project completion within the stipulated time frame of twenty overs.

We drove forward our chase through a blend of innovation (Ashwin as opener) and proven best practices (Hussey as opener). When faced with challenges in the middle overs, our personnel responded by leveraging their core competencies and and hitting industry standard sixes in the end overs to see the project through successfully to the very end.

CSK - Driving onward with vision

India Cements VP Mr.M.S.Dhoni and India Cements MD Mr. N.Srinivasan - guiding CSK towards a better tomorrow.

Under the able leadership of India Cements Vice-President Mr.M.S.Dhoni (also the captain of the Indian cricket team), powered by our commitment to quality cricket, passion for winning and meticulous attention to detail, we confidently stride towards a better tomorrow for CSK, our players, our management, and most importantly, to you, our fans.

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