Monday, April 19, 2010

Chennai Doordarshan to produce 'ManaiMaatchi : The Movie' . Also announces films based on 'Maanila Seidhigal', 'Munnottam' and 'Thadangalukku Varundhugirom'.


by Anand Ramachandran, with a little help from his friends.

As a part of a strategic entry into the film production business, the Chennai Doordarshan Kendra has announced a multi-crore 3-D feature film version of it's popular 80s TV show, 'ManaiMaatchi'. It has also announced film versions of other popular classic programmes 'Munnottam', 'Ediroli' and 'Vayalum Vaazhvum' and an animated feature based on 'Maanila Seidhigal'.


ManaiMaatchi : The Movie will feature exciting action-packed sequences showing random women engaging in death defying activities such as making Rasam, decorating biscuit-tins and making paper-bags out of older paper-bags.


"We have noticed that there is an international trend of making TV shows into blockbuster films, as evidenced by recent examples like Sex and the City, the A-Team and The Dukes of Hazzard. So we decided to take our best, most popular shows and turn them into blockbuster films, to increase revenue.", said a guy whose insistence on wearing a safari suit distracted us from ascertaining his name.

Apparently, ManaiMaatchi : The Movie (3-D) will feature Tamil film superstar Trisha as a random housewife who will, over the course of the film's running time of three hours, show the audience how to make, among other things, rava-uppuma, a basic cross-stitch pattern (featuring Kartik Bose demonstrating a cover-drive to some eager Englishmen)) and a cool toy boat using some camphor and an old Cuticura tin. The film will also feature an appearance by superstar actor Dr.Mr.Joseph Vijay Saar as the guy who brings in the tray carrying onions, and maybe also some chillies. When asked why this kind of film required 3-D, the safari-clad guy replied "For the exact same reasons that Clash of The Titans did. I have nothing more to add."

The Tamil community is thrilled with the news, and they reacted with the same enthusiasm they show whenever anything remotely relating to Tamil Nadu is mentioned anywhere, especially on Twitter.

"Wow. An animated feature based on Maanila Seidhigal? Yay! This is what I've been waiting for all my life - a cartoon version of a minister inaugurating a village hand-pump, followed by some women getting bank loans! Exciting! ", said renowned animation industry veteran P.C.Vikram. He also fervently hoped that the filmmakers wouldn't leave out the sequences where some bored looking men sit below a photo of former Chief Minister K.Kamaraj while another addresses a group of twelve villagers.




A scene from the 'Vayalum Vaazhvum' movie trailer, showing a farmer spraying pesticide on his crop, moments before his ass gets kicked by a karate-chopping P.Sainath (not in picture).

Doordarshan has also revealed that the 'Munnottam' movie would consist of a stern looking woman with a disconcertingly bass voice reading out a list of all their upcoming movie releases for the next two years, and the 'Ediroli' movie would feature a man wearing thick horn-rimmed glassed cheerfully answering questions about all their other movies. The 'Vayalum Vazhvum' feature is tipped to be the launch vehicle that will kick-start the celluloid career of veteran journalist P.Sainath.

Doordarshan will be ensuring that all the film versions carefully retain the flavour of the original shows, by using techniques such as tiresome direction, monotonous voice dubbing, and shooting the entire slate of films in Black and White.

"Great news indeed", said Vishwanathan Srinivasan, a long-time fan of retro Doordarshan content. "Now, if only they would remake 'Vilayaatu Vimarsanam' as a sports film along the lines of Escape to Victory, my life will be complete.", he said, turning disproportionately emotional and sentimental.

"I'm not sure that the content translates very well to the feature film format.", said wildlife photographer S.U.Saravanakumar, playing the devil's advocate. "What's next? An 'Over To Delhi' film which will make the audience wait for some twenty minutes before switching to some totally unrelated movie?", he asked, causing the people who came up with 'Blind Date' at Sathyam Cinemas to shuffle their feet and look around nervously.

Plans have also been announced for a two-hour long film called Thadangalukku Varundhugirom : Sorry for the Break (Like Prince : It's Showtime) - which will be the world's first movie to consist purely of its own interval. It will simply feature a still image of a broken film-strip on the screen for the entire duration of the film, while people mill about, buy popcorn, and discuss whether the second half will be better than the first half. There will also be a sequel, Thadangalukku Varundhugirom 2, which will be exactly the same, except it will feature an image of a family riding a scooter which has just had a tyre blowout.

"We are proud to be a part of such an innovative and daring initiative to take these old classic TV shows to an entirely new audience. Hopefully, other Kendras will take up the baton and go on to produce their own such interesting films." said the safari suited spokesman, leaving the gathering with nightmarish images of a big-screen adaptation of 'Sansad Samachaar', directed by Madhur Bhandarkar or Ram Gopal Verma.

29 comments:

King Viswa said...

Well,

Me the First.

Amazing Post.

King Viswa said...

//The film will also feature an appearance by superstar actor Dr.Mr.Joseph Vijay Saar as the guy who brings in the tray carrying onions, and maybe also some chillies.//

By Far the best lines.

King Viswa said...

//There will also be a sequel, Thadangalukku Varundhugirom 2, //

Second part also?

King Viswa said...

May you forgot about the Wednesday 1 Hour Tele-Serials by G.P.R, Where they used to put in the credit tags as "இது ஒரு G.P.R படைப்பு" meaning "It's a G.P.R Production".

Escape.... Great Escape said...

Lol.. Thadangaluku Varundhigirom also features a 'brilliant cameo' by the camera man's thumb?

Why not?

hari said...

ROTLMAO, you're inspiring... :-)

Anonymous said...

ROTFL! amazing!

Suresh said...

I also see epic potential in Wonder balloon, siruvar poonga and such.

Envyas said...

I'm waiting for Sanjay Leela Bhansali directed 'Krishi Darshan'. The film will only play at 7:30 in the evening.

Nitin said...

"I'm not sure that the content translates very well to the feature film format.", said wildlife photographer S.U.Saravanakumar, playing the devil's advocate. "What's next? An 'Over To Delhi' film which will make the audience wait for some twenty minutes before switching to some totally unrelated movie?", he asked, causing the people who came up with 'Blind Date' at Sathyam Cinemas to shuffle their feet and look around nervously.

Take a bow!

Unknown said...

The Vayalum Vazhvum picture looks like a still from Hurt Locker. Good choice of picture I say!

Thamizhil Pesuvom by Ma.Nannan would be a potential remake.

Ramya Ramadurai said...

What about 'Oliyum Oliyum' ?

PS said...

Not to forget the monumental Kanbom Karpom. The educational potential of that movie is virtually unlimited.

Suren said...

Any Kids 3d Movie ..

may be "Wonder Balloon" ...

That was the only program for us those days.

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Thanks for reading Son of Bosey, folks. Will pass on your suggestions to producers I know.

Saiganesh Sairaman said...

How could you miss 'Kaanamal ponavargal patriya arivippu' !! x(

King Vishy said...

lol.. awesomeness!! reminded me of the days of yore when DD 'ruled'.. thank u!

King Viswa said...

Suddenly, Am seeing This comment and it reminded me of almost myself.

//King Vishy said...
lol.. awesomeness!! reminded me of the days of yore when DD 'ruled'.. thank u!//

Here are 2 guys with the same Blogger Names and Almost similar approach.

Hey Buddy, All the best.

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

@King Vishy / King Viswa - What are the odds?

Anonymous said...

hahaha..! what about tuesday drama... that was one of the best programmes.. and chitramala too...

Anonymous said...

...and ariviyal ayirum can become a scifi movie

GSai said...

Since 'Munnottam' would take us through a time travel by "reading out a list of all their upcoming movie releases for the next two years" shouldn't it be made in 4-D? It would then be the 'ulaga tholaikaaaaaatchigalilllllll mudhalllll murayaaaagaaa' 4-D film! hurray!

Anonymous said...

Ula varum oli katthir will also be made into a movie. There will be random priests pouring milk over obscure temples. For star power there will be a Kushboo dance and K R Vijaya's ghost will appear in a supporting role.

Unknown said...

Nice article..nostalgic..cant forget the good old time - like when Mr. "Nazhuval" Nallathambi of Edhiroli slip under the rug for every viewers embarrassing question while still managing to pat Chennai "Thollai"Katchi team on their back. lol

R.Ganesh said...

Maybe I don't get the pun here...I definitely would enjoy watching Manai matchi, munnottam, vayalum vaazhvum and ediroli than the soaps of today in private channels...I remember kumudham and ananda vigadan filled with jokes on how boring the Tuesday dramas were in DD, but I crave to see one of those peeli sivam and Kaathadi Ramamurthy's now.

Venkysdiary said...

Hey, nice post.. why you are not writing often these days..

Deepti Sharma said...

I can already see what Aamchi Mati Aamchi Mansa will look like in its big screen avatar... and the afternoon slot with a middle aged guy narrating stories to a bunch of kids can be another movie. Then we can have celluloid versions of Rangoli, just a series of songs.... no wait, Ashutosh Gowarikar has already done that.

Anonymous said...

Sorry. Did not find anything funny. Almost every aspect was clichéd. Lame.

I don't understand why Vijay has to be pulled in for humour such as this one? No idea. Statement of status?

Raghavan said...

hahahaha ! DD Rocks !!