Thursday, December 18, 2008

Anil Kapoor to play Mario in new Super Mario Bros Movie!

Following the success of Danny Boyle's Slumdog Millionaire, Bollywood actor Anil Kapoor has bagged the plum role of Nintendo's world-famous videogame hero Mario in the upcoming Super Mario Bros movie. “What can I say? He's a perfect fit! That moustache! Those cheeks! The ability to perform digitally enhanced stunts! The love of mushrooms. . er . .scratch the last one.”, said Sankalesh Jimmy, the casting director for the film.

“I'm delighted to be playing a plumber, many years after playing a mechanic in Laadla almost fifteen years ago.” said a nostalgic Kapoor. “After all, Indian actors are old hands at playing plumbers, mechanics, carpenters and drivers who can perform acrobatic leaps wearing gaudy clothes, and defeat hundreds of weird bad guys in order to finally get the girl!”, he quipped. He was also reportedly working very hard to get the pronunciation exactly right for phrases such as “Koopa Troopa”, “Petey Piranha”, and “Itsa meeeee! Maaarioh!”.

In related news, a new film about India's new ball bowlers will apparently feature Zayed Khan as Ishant Sharma and Irrfan Khan as Mohinder Amarnath (Whaaaat??!! Of course Jimmy Pa was a new ball bowler. Look it up.)

Wikipedia to release Print version.

World renowned online encyclopaedia Wikipedia has surprised its fans by announcing that they will soon be releasing a print version of their immensely popular and respected resource. “We fell that a print version would help Wikipedia reach a far wider audience, so that we can see a sharp increase in profits, as well as in the number of school and college projects worldwide that are direct rip-offs from one of our entries.”, said a spokesman for the Wikipedia foundation.

Predictably, a large number of people have questioned the move, saying that it is against the very idea of Wikipedia – which is a community-built resource that is constantly evolving and correcting itself to include the latest items of global importance – such as Sam Anderson, Extreme Ironing and the beard-care regimen of ZZtop.

There have been some problems with the edition, however. Since the print version is simply a reproduction of most of Wikipedia's pages as they were when the printing plates were made, inaccuracies and errors have crept it. For instance, the entry for 'Nintendo' simply reads “NINTENDO SUCKS. - BY DA PS3 FANBOYZ!!”, the entry for 'Britney Spears' begins with “I am a really nice girl and a very good dancer and I love cakes . . .” and reads entirely in first person, and the entry for G.S.Pradeep makes him seem far more famous and important than he really is.

However, the move has had some unexpected repercussions – several people have actually decided to give the book a pass, and are waiting for the inevitable movie release. “Wikipedia – The Movie” is expected to hit theatres worldwide in 2010, and will feature a sincere-looking Edward Norton reading out many of its most popular pages aloud for the benefit of the audience. P.C.Ramakrishna is looking forward to its release.