Friday, March 07, 2008

Government awards Padma Shri to Shri Shri Ravishankar, causing spiritual leader to be called Padma Shri Shri Shri Ravishankar.

by Anand Ramachandran, in a thinly veiled attempt to hijack the search string 'Shri'.

The Government of India has conferred the coveted PadmaShri award to the renowned spiritual leader Shri Shri Ravishankar, which has led to the delightful side effect of adding another extra Shri before his name, to go with the two that are already present in that location.

H.H. Shri Shri Ravishankar (H.H.S.S.Ravishankar for short), maintains his usual grace and composure in the face of his impending name change. H.H. Shri Shri Ravishankar is no relation of H.H.Gibbs (not in picture).

“ I guess he'll have to be referred to as Padma Shri Shri Shri Ravishankar! Heh heh. Just like Rin Tin Tin. Well, at least sort of.”, mused wildlife photographer S.U.Saravanakumar, wasting no time in making his presence felt in the first Bosey post in a while.

“Grrr. This blows. Now I'll have to press Ctrl-V with far greater frequency when I write an article about His Holiness. And Microsoft Word will add that annoying red underline under even more words. Damn.”, complained upcoming history-book writer Nandini Reddy. “Why? Oh – I usually place the word 'Shri' on the clipboard, and then simply paste it whenever I need to. I am teh_pwnzor at using M5 w0r|) !”, she added with a smirk, stunning nearby gamers with her unexpected proficiency in 733t.

However, leading scientists have already come up with several ways to deal with the problem. “ Using clever mathematical notation, the name can be quite easily written as Padma 3(Shri) Ravishankar or even Padma Shri3 Ravishankar. Much neater than even his original name.”, pointed out noted mathematics personality Sheela Shankar, to a round of warm applause from Nandini Reddy, of previous paragraph fame.

The move has completely overshadowed a similar situation that has occured with the Government also announcing the same award for cricketer SreeSanth and actress (actor? Whatever.) Sridevi. “That's not really in the same league. Everyone knows that three is better than two, just like four is better than two.”, babbled little-known logician Aravind Murali, before staging a remarkable turnaround in quality by quipping “ The only potential here is if Sreesanth becomes a Saint, after which he can become 'Santh Santhakumaran Padma Shri Sree Santh'. Like Kumar Karthik Kumar!”

S.Sreesanth tries out a turban, to achieve his lifelong ambition of looking a little bit more like Subramaniya Bharathi. Or Bhagat Singh. Or that dude from the SPIC logo.

Not one to be left behind, world famous Tamil actor Kamal Haasan (Grand to friends), has been quick to jump onto the bandwagon. “I have so far been calling myself PadmaShri Kamal Haasan, but, since I have won the Rajat Kamal several times, I will henceforth be known as Rajat Kamal Kamal Haasan.”, said Grand, before inexplicably adding “I'm in the undezhrrbuhhlleee of the aizhczhaft”. The film industry grapevine also reveals that popular hero Vijay (Vijay Saar to friends), since he has been given an honorary Ph.D by some suck-up university, is insisting on being referred to as “Dr. Mr.Vijay Saar”.

“It's a good thing there's no award called 'Padma Sai'. Imagine the scene if there were names such as Padma Sai Sai Baba, and Padma Sai Saikkanth”, sniggered well known anthropology student Sankalesh Jimmy, needlessly modifying the name Srikkanth just to fit in with his joke.

Reliable sources also reveal that the HRD ministry is showing more signs of a wicked sense of humour by instituting an award called 'Padma John Smith', and awarding it to random guys in the United Kingdom.


Unknown said...

He he, this was brilliant. I've been reading your site for a long time now. Always funny. Especially the adoption and 'cooling glass' one.

Malaveeka said...

Very excellent post.

I too have been a fan.

Ravages/CC said...

'Heh' with or without the exclamation barely covers this post.
A Padma Anand for you, and a Shri Padma for Padma Lakshmi.

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Thanks for reading. Always nice to know other people who find two (or more)successive 'Shri's funny.

Ravages/CC said...

heh! What happened to my earlier comment? Did SU Saravanakumar crop them out in a fit of anger?

I think I said that we should get a Shri Padma award for Padma Lakshmi, and call her Shri Padma Padma Lakshmi.
And you will definitely need a Padma Anand

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Ravages - Or Padma Shri Shrimati Padma Lakshmi.

And you think alarmingly like Ruchir Joshi.

Arjun Sharma said...

We did this silly bit in a Kannada 'mad-ad' in our college. We announced H.H.S.S. Ravishankar as 'Shri Shri mattinnondu Shri Ravishankar.' I don't think anybody laughed. Goes to show we were way ahead of our times. We should have waited till 2008.

Unfortunately, there's no award called the Padma Raja. Else, we could have bestowed it posthumously on Raja Raja Chola and had Padma Raja Raja Raja Chola. More applications of this logic would include:-

Padma Boutros Boutros Boutros Ghali
Padma Jar Jar Jar Binks
Padma Moon Moon Moon Sen

I should stop now.

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Arjun Sharma : Heh.

And a Padma Ali could result in Padma Ali Ali G Ji.

Anonymous said...

Hey....thats fine, u can write two 'Shri's....

shriram said...

This had me in splits.:)
I am a fan of the way you write,but I got hooked on after reading your ambi mama post.That was your best.Continue to write more.

Anonymous said...

Anand, Bale Bale... you should join the Papa Hari World Government because that is the place for geniuses like us! :-)

Anonymous said...

Oh, it's so great to have Bosey back in circulation :)

Way to go, A.R - incidentally, I've always referred
to the Art of Living as the (f)Art of Living :)


byker7 said...

I'm surprised that despite being exposed to 733t proficiency, the obvious choice of nomenclature for his hedonistic holiness, has remained overlooked.

Presenting the PS3 Ravishankar.

Plays BluRay and ATRAC too.

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

byker 7 :

You think alarmingly like Nandini Reddy.

byker7 said...

i don't even know nandini reddy.

i was once, however, hooked on to Mega Tokyo.

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

byker 7 :

That's why it's alarming that you think like her.

Meagatokyo! Woo-Hoo! I remember thet dude who spoke only in 733t! I'm probably going to TGS next year - maybe i'll end up like them!

Oh - I have a gaming blog that you may enjoy.

Malik Hakem al-Baqara said...

a little late in commenting but I must say this piece was unbelievably funny! I had quite a few great laughs! thank you for continuing to foster this art-form of distributing sheer joy.

RadhaKrishna said...

A new award, the Padma Boutros should be awarded to Boutros Boutros Ghali.

Anonymous said...

SPIC logo. hahahahahahha

Gorfus Horribulus said...

Tamil Newspaper announcing Boutros' death - Boutros Boutros Gali Gaali

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Dai Ceylon - Hahahahaha if only Tamil Newspapers showed such savoir-faire! Then they could organize savoir-faire fair at Island Grounds!

The Mudd said...

How about Padma Tin Tintin ?
Or Padma Bond Bond,James Bond??
Anyways..insanely creative post man.

RR said...

Late entrant...but enjoyed your posts.. you guys Rock !!