Monday, March 31, 2008

P.James makes P.C.Sorcar Disappear!

by Anand Ramachandran, based on an idea by the one and only Aditya Khanna (Mr.Jolly to friends), who is probably the funniest guy alive.


In a stunning and unexpected manoeuvre, renowned Chennai magician P.James has made world famous fellow magician P.C.Sorcar Jr. disappear!








Left : P.C.Sorcar, before being made to disappear by P.James, waves to the camera (not in picture).
Right : P.C.Sorcar (not in picture), after being made to disappear by P.James (also not in picture).

As the grand finale of his appearance at Spencer Plaza in Chennai, P.James flabbergasted the gathered audience when, with a wave of his wand, and uttering his trademark “Giligiligiligili”, he made P.C.Sorcar vanish into thin air. He then proceeded to giggle helplessly and proclaim “Paarunga! Peecee Sarkaar Saar full vanish ayitaaru! Escaaaaaaaype!”, eliciting thunderous applause from the children and adults gathered.


“What??!! Impossible!!?? Where's my husband? Where is P.C.Sorcar ? “, wailed a distraught Mrs.P.C.Sorcar (of P.C.Sorcar fame). “Oh, no! James has made him disappear from my previous quote itself! His magic is too powerful!”, she trailed off, before leaving to a 'gold covering works' shop on Pondy Bazaar to place a bulk order for zari.


The finale suddenly brought the show to life, as until then the audience had to make do with James producing an assortment of 'jigna' party decorations from an assortment of containers, displaying a comatose python, and making filter coffee using his assistant's head as a stove. In fact the highlight up to that point was when James erroneously referred to the fountain on the ground floor of Phase 1 as a 'swimming pool'.


“This tops everything. David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear. P.C.Sorcar made a train disappear. But no one has yet made another magician disappear! James rules!”, said a delighted Jai Shankar Iyer, a budding magician himself. “I wonder what he will make disappear next?”, he added, before suddenly vanishing from sight.


“I fondly remember the early days of K.Lal, P.C.Sorcar, and P.M.Mitra with much fondness. They used to perform at Kalaivanar Arangam, and I used to happily eat lollipops and watch them dress up in gold zari based suits and speak in weird accents”, reminisced Mansi Gandhi,a regular visitor to magic shows, as her eyes misted over. She also needlessly added that, apart from magic shows, she also used to enjoy Amar Circus, the Aquarium, and the Trade Fair at Island grounds.









Magicians K.Lal (Left. Or is it right?) and Jr.K.Lal (Right. Or is it left?) express their evil delight that after P.C.Sorcar's disappearance, they, and not him, will be the zari supplier's preferred customers. Muhahahahahaha.

“Amazing. Making famous things disappear is an essential part of a magician's repertoire.”, said wildlife photographer S.U.Saravanakumar. “Now, if someone would only make Lalit Modi disappear, eh?”, he quipped, displaying his now familiar sardonic wit.


Ayyo! James saar soopera magic pannirukkaru !”, said little known magician JMK Disco Raja, ensuring that google searches for his name would no longer return irrelevant results. “Vaanga childrens - ippo yellam sendhu trade fairukku polaam! Come On!”, he chirrupped, clapping his hands together and smiling at a few puzzled toddlers in the audience.


Shortly after the event, James was mobbed by autograph hunters – who were thrilled that instead of signing autographs, he merely inscribed his iconic “P.James Magic Show : 4850239” advertisement on their notepads, photographs, currency notes, and breasts.








United States president George W.Bush officially inaugurates the addition of "P.James Magic Show - 9841072571" to Mt.Rushmore.


P.James, however, is not resting on his laurels. “I am already beginning preparations for my world tour. I also plan to inscribe my famous 'P.James Magic Show : 9841072571' ad on famous landmarks such as The Cheops Pyramid, the Maracana Stadium and Mt.Rushmore.”, said the magician. “Oh . . sorry . . . almost forgot! Giligiligiligili! ”, he added, hurriedly waving his wand and bringing back a harassed looking, but relieved P.C.Sorcar.


“Oh, well. It's good to be back! But I must say it's quite jolly in that parallel dimension – you won't believe the things I saw there! There was Atlantis, Subhash Chandra Bose, Elvis, several UFOs, all those ships that disappeared in Bermuda, the Loch Ness Monster . . . it's amazing! There was also a strange reddish purple motorcycle without keys!”, he said excitedly. “I felt like that cow in Magical Trevor”, he added, to the surprise of weebl fans in the audience.


The incident has also caused many ripples among other people with the initials P.C.


“This is quite a relief. I'm glad he didn't make me disappear! Not much voiceover work in the parallel dimension. Hyok!”, said noted voiceover guy and theatre personality P.C.Ramakrishna. “Since the mid eighties, P.James has been known for his visiBILITY. His sustainaBILITY. His marketaBILITY.”, he went on, slipping into corporate film voiceover mode, and emphasizing the correct syllables in his impeccable style.


“Mrrmmphss ssmrrffmps frrsssshmmpf”, said award-winning cinematographer P.C.Sreeram, demonstrating his well known mumbling skills. When contacted for his comments, animation industry veteran P.C.Vikram merely said “I'll call you back.” Illustrator P.C.Malavika was unavailable for comment, as she had gone to her friend's house.


When we last heard from P.James, he was approving layouts for his latest ad, which seemed to contain the words “www.pjames.in”. Could it be ?


Important note from editor : A reader, in the comments section, has suggested that we are guilty of plagiarism. The original article is here http://blahonline.blogspot.com/2006/08/p-james-shocks-chennai.html. Apart from assuring my readers that I have never read this article (which is quite entertaining, btw) before, and that I never plagiarize, I will let you decide for yourself. Read the two posts and decide for yourself. Thanks - Anand

44 comments:

Anonymous said...

Plagiarism by Bosey?

Idea for next post.

Ref: http://blahonline.blogspot.com/2006/08/p-james-shocks-chennai.html

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Phoenix,

Thanks for pointing out the article. I assure you that we do not plagiarize. Having been the victims of plagiarism in the past, we understand how it feels when someone rips off your work, sometimes word-for-word.

The article does reference many of the same subjects, but I assure you that I have not read it before. P.James, magic, disappearances, P.C.Sorcar et al. - perhaps a case of different people tripping on the same things?

Will add a note and a link on the article that can let readers decide for themselves.

Cheers.

Anonymous said...

bosey: There are several objections I have to that plagiarism charge:
1. Form or Style: To those who still dont get it, Bosey is not about 'SUBJECT' but form. I read the linked article - while it deals with the same article, it is like several notches below in terms of style or form. The humour in that article is in the *idea*, the *concept*, not the execution, not the immaculate word-sculpting in this one.
2.'Sarkar' was not a remake of 'Nayagan'. Again here, for the benefit of morons, this article is not Sarkar and the linked article is not Nayagan. Just a relativity comparison.
3. Once again, if one didnt now P.James or PC Sorcar, or PC Sriram , one could still enjoy this article - and that is the signpost and raison d'etre of Bosey. Infact, that I enjoyed the extraordinary sense of humour in this article without knowing Malavika, PC Vikram and friends, I could still actually see the intended humour, the weightage of that sentence in relation to the whole piece there speaks volumes of what Bosey is all about. If one doesnt understand that, please refrain from coming here.
4. I would have taken the Mrs Doubtfire - Avvai Shanmughi comparison. But it doesnt merit it- because the linked one is not in the same class as MD(in relation to AS) and in fact, this one far better than AS was(in relation to MD).For the benefit of morons: In the comparison of ratio:
MD/AS vs Linked Article/ This article, Numerator on LHS is significantly superior to numerator on RHS while the Denominator on LHS is not as good as Denominator on RHS.

Bosey, on the side, does this remind you of your Mrs. Sheila Antony or Rita D Souza or whoever that tyrannical maths teacher?

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Anonymous,

Thanks for the spirited riposte! And for the deep analysis of Bosey's humour, which we ourselves are too dumb and lazy to attempt!

However, no need to ask anyone to stay away! Everyone is welcome, even if they don't like our humour, and is perfectly entitled to question our integrity (unlike Ricky Ponting's!!! THAT cannot be questioned!!)

Oh - and the maths teacher is Mrs. Abraham. Sheila Inbaraj was history. Rita D.Souza no doubt was English in a neighbouring school!

Thanks for participation.

AXE 316 said...

Being one of the insiders, I can clarify - the Bosey writers don't read anything else on the internet except their own stuff.

It's so bad - Bosey writers never open their inbox and read only the email from their "Sent" folder.

:)

- Axe out.

Anonymous said...

Sheila Inbaraj who? Nandini Reddy is the only history teacher on bosey! well said, anonymous, i second that to the power of infinity. whoever thought those articles were even remotely alike needs to learn how to read, er, more...
ouch!
my bad - bosey ALWAYS good
: )

Prashanth Nuggehalli Srinivas said...

Read the articles. Hardly plagiarism....a condom cannot be accused of copying a balloon just cos of the shape. While one is fun bursting, the other is fun till it bursts! :-)

Anonymous said...

bosey, yup. Point taken. We shall refrain from playing Malcolm Conn or Peter Lalor.

But is it because only 10-15 people read bosey anyway? :-)
(Well, better this than 10000 morons hitting your site, eh?)

Anonymous said...

I read most of the other blogs in that alleged original P James Story. Nothing can compare Bosey!. What makes Bosey unique is their inclusion of SU Saravanakumar, PC whoever and other such characters that are of course real but not yet popular.
The other blog link was actually lame and sounds like a very kiddish and amateurish attempt at comedy involving characters that are popular to chennaiites.
You guys are great! Keep more of em coming.

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Vishwanathan - thanks for the kind words. And how do you know that SU Saravanakumar and the P.C. Gang are real??!! Unless you're Inis!

Anonymous - Interesting that you should think bosey is read by about 15 people. In fact, I think this would be a good time to share a bit about our stats - some of you may find this informative / useful.

According to our stats tool, we do between 8000 to 12000 page views a month, depending on the regularity of posts. On average, we do about 6500 - 9000 unique visits per month. Even allowing for repeat visits, that's a fair deal more than 15 people.

Heh. Guess our material isn't THAT crappy ;)

Thanks again for supporting Son of Bosey.

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Anonymous - er . .care to take off the mask? Of course, no obligation. Just curious.

priya krishnan said...

me thinks its nandini reddy or mamma

priya krishnan said...

since we are talking hits, hey guys call me on my virgin mobile - i get paid for incoming :)

Unknown said...

Ooh, Anonymous pissed Bosey off. "Take those stats, loser!" said Bosey, effectively stifling Anonymous' further objections.

And Viswanathan is right, that other write-up was just lame. This is far funnier; but that's what we've come to expect from Son of Bosey anyway.

Unknown said...

Whatever i like this better! and its nice to see bosey stop from being randomly updated to regularly updated !!!

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Arjun -

Not at all. We just felt that we should give readers some idea of how many people read Son of Bosey, that's all. It's not like the stats are THAT imprssive, anyway. Just not in the 15 people league :) Hope 'anonymous' doesn't feel that way - absolutely no offense taken. Dude, we're satirists. We make fun of other people all the time - and certainly don't take offense when others make fun of us.

And thanks for the vote of confidence. That means more to us than all the stats in the world.

Anonymous said...

that was a real good one :)

Anonymous said...

Hey anand.. ecotone I thought was run by the world renowned wildlife photographer SUS???P.C.Ramakrishna,P.C.Vikram, P.C Ramanujam et al exist. Atleast theoretically in google.
Anyways, its great that this thing is rolling on. But one suggestion. More of local lingo (like Hotel Coronet from We didn't eat the paya) and less of cricket please?? Also have ZZTop stop making their occasional guest appearances??
I love it either way.

Anonymous said...

Bosey, glad to know more than 15 people turn up here. We have no objections :-)
BTW, you should know that out of your page views of 12000 we would account for atleast 1000(and we access from 3 different places so thats 3 unique locations for you) so we are quite entitled to our scepticism about there being more souls who share our sense of humour.
Absolutely no intentions of calling Bosey Crap. Bosey is the best humour we have seen in 'blogpshere'(ah! you should start including 'grand's who use this word pompously in your roster) and we are glad to know there are atleast 5000 unique people who enjoy bosey.
Thanks.
anon-who-doesnt-want-to-play-peter-lalor-(or malcolm conn, for that matter)

Arjun Sharma said...

[AR, who is one short of becoming ARR] I hope I wasn't sounding accusatory or belittling of your ability to take jokes. Didn't mean that at all. Just tried to make light of the situation. Failed, evidently.

I have become a firm fan and reader of Son of Bosey. On a low-key day at work, I went to Big fat Phoenix and read all the back issues of your old Bosey magazine. You may judge me for this. I am not creepy.

And dude, don't piss on the 15 readers category. Many of us would count ourselves lucky if the count hit that on a good day.

How much does a Wii handheld cost in India?

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Anonymous : You forgot Robert Cra(p)ddock! You guys account for 1000 pageviews? I owe you much beer if you're ever in Chennaior mumbai!

Arjun : No issues, dude. I'm a great fan of 'Luck, be my Lady tonight' as well. Great stuff.

And I have two blogs, http://www.pwnage.in and http://www.bossfight.in that fall firmly in the 15 pageview category. So pissing on these would involve pissing on myself as well! No way!

and . . .er . . . a wii handheld? I'll pass on the obvious joke, and assume that you are referring to a nintendo DS? The DS should cost you around 8 grand - there's no official price as it's not released here yet. The PSP slim is 8990/-. The Wii is not a handheld - it's a TV based console.

Unknown said...

Heh, yes, a Nintendo DS. I just wanted to lob 'Wii Handheld' so you'd smash it. You passed on it. Too cool for n00bs, are you?

You advocated the DS on your gaming blog("..teh coolness, the coolness...!"). I, in keeping with my tradition of firmly following whatever other people say, will now go ahead and purchase it.

Mahadevan said...

Can James make Saurav Ganguli, Sorcar's compatriot, disappear? He is a nuisance when excluded and tormentor when in.

Anonymous said...

oh p james has a cellphone now? haven't been to madras in a long time.. his # used to be 4850239 back then - this was scribbled in so many places that it is permanently etched in my memory.

varun

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Varun - yes, he has. Although the old land line numbers cannot be matched for their elegantn appeal. I've mentioned 4850239 in the article itself. For a short while, he had 4850669 as well.

Anonymous said...

ayoh! superu!! can you translate some tamil words for non speakers like me? or would that be killing the whole thing?? naandri!

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Anonymous -

The only words that need translation here are probably the words of JMK Disco Raja, which, roughly, would amount to something like "The P.James magic was fantastic. Okay, kids, now let us proceed together to the trade fair!"

You're welcome :)

Anonymous said...

Hi... incredible blog... got me stitches several times... adding you to my blogroll... cheers

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

scorpicity,

thanks for the link. Will blogroll cricketfizz as well.

Anonymous said...

Such happiness comes! You had me at the first disappearing Sorcar image itself. But more joy followed!

I imagine you are told this about 35.2 times a day, but not to be left behind, I'll tell you again - You guys totally rock! (You guys pebble and boulder, as well.)

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Megha - thanks for reading, and the nice words.

Closer to about 12 times, actually, about eight times by our friends and family, so that we aren't driven to suicide and other fun ways of easing stress!

Arjun Sharma said...

On an unrelated note, http://www.pwnage.in seems to have some problems. I got "www.pwnage.in could not be found"s many times today. Any updates there?

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Arjun - http://www.pwnage.in seems to work fine now. Maybe some temporary outage!

Yep. An update! Featuring our beloved SRK!!

Anonymous said...

Vaadhiyaar, wouldn't it be nice to put up a picture of the classic P.James graffiti ad on pjames.in? Just a suggestion. Enjoyed the article, thanks!

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Theseus,

That is exactly teh_plan. Will execute shortly - when I get teh_time.

Anonymous said...

This has probably boiled over. Still, for what it's worth :

This is not the first time Bosey is tripping on P.James. Back in the first issue of bosey.com, there is a P.James "article".
>http://www.bigfatphoenix.com/bosey/001/index.html

Although it's not much, considering the fact that P.James was very much a part of Bosey, and also considering all the other stuff they have come up with, is it really hard to imagine that this is original?

I am a sucker for satire based content on the interweb in general, and having followed bosey for as long as I can remember, I can say with certainty that all of it is 100 percent original.

Nitin said...

You guys are simply incredible :-) Always thought Dave Barry was the funniest writer in the world - until I stumbled on this site. Have paid a tribute to Bosey on my personal blog as well - do check it, though I must admit its not in the same league.

http://knittins.blogspot.com/2007/11/danish-kaneria-invents-new-form-of-leg.html

Anonymous said...

Parallel Dimension? Did P.C. Sorcar meet Hansie Cronje too?

Anonymous said...

You guys are hilarious! I was a participant in a P James Magic Show when in school. He pulled a onion out of my ass. It was years before I touched an onion again.

Anonymous said...

Holy mother of god, what have i been missing??? This is too good. Son of Bosey accused of plagiarism? hahahahaha... media stunt?

Anonymous said...

woaaaaw I wrote that article on Blah Online and NO, this is not plagiarism.

This is yet another Bosey classic...funny as hell

We ripped off the concept of spoofing desi shite from you guys, for cryin out loud

respect...!

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Christy Bharath -

Just like we ripped off the format from The Onion!! It's fun!!

Hey - thanks for your comment. And double thanks for holding back for so long - allowing this to become the second-most commented upon article on Bosey!!

Anonymous said...

Thank me too! :p I swear I read this all over again and was rolling on the floor when I was surprised to see my first comment.. I don't even remember putting it there!

Anonymous said...

As far as I know, Mrs. Sorcar is an accomplihed magician herself, and I recall watching shows where her item was to make people shorter. Perhaps she could stage a "magical revenge"(in the cause of stretching the story. TV soaps specialize in this latter art form) by trying a few spells of her own on P James :-).