Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Air Deccan Flight Cancelled in Mid-Air!

by Anand Ramachandran, who had to stay an extra day in Bangalore.

Customers of leading low-cost carrier Air Deccan were in for a rude shock when the flight from Chennai to Bangalore was unexpectedly cancelled – in mid-air.

“Attention Passengers”, came the announcement “ Air Deccan regrets to announce that this flight stands cancelled due to technical reasons. We regret the inconvenience”, much to the consternation of all those on board. All passengers were then requested to leave the aircraft, and make alternative arrangements. Complicating matters, while insisting that the passengers de-plane in mid-air so that repairs could be carried out, the crew refused to provide parachutes, jetpacks, or even ladders, sparking off angry reactions.

“We're a low cost carrier. Passengers have no business demanding fancy extras like parachutes, which are an extra cost on our airline – just like mineral water, air-conditioning, and general assistance!”, said a company spokesman, from a secret hideout located at 69, Venkatesan Street, Chennai-17.

“They have no business leaving us in the lurch”, said irate passenger Tariq Akbar, suddenly lurching forward due to turbulence.

“Why is there no responsible official from Air Deccan here answering our questions? There should be some accountability! Ridiculous! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah . . . . . “, said Nandini Reddy, before making an unintentional exit from the aircraft.

Air Deccan's flight attendant dives out of the plane, preferring death over dealing with irate passengers (in hot pursuit)

“I don't see what's the reason to complain! We provide lousy service at very reasonable rates, while other airlines charge heavily for the same thing!”, said Capt.C.R.Gopinath, quite reasonably. “We want to ensure that every Indian has the opportunity to experience the annoyances and inconveniences of air travel that have until now been the privilege of the wealthy.”, he added, lapsing into nonsense once more. He also expressed irritation that most people seemed to wrongly pronounce his carrier's name as Air-Dec-Khan (Rhymes with Shah-Rukh-Khan. Try it – Air-Dec-Khan, Shah-Ruk-Khan, Air-Dec-Khan, Shah-Rukh-Khan. See, it's fun!)

“Low cost carriers are cheating the public, ruining the aviation business, and, most importantly, taking away all our market share!”, yelled an angry Vijay Mallya, revealing the true reasons behind his well-publicized dislike for Air Deccan. “More Beer! More Beer!”, he added, jumping up and down waving his hands maniacally.

Wildlife photographer S.U.Saravanakumar provided the sole voice of reason. “People should realize that Shatabdi is only best. There has never been a major disaster on any Shatabdi to date, not counting P.C.Ramakrishna letting off about the culture of Chennai over the P.A.”, he quipped with a wink.


Anonymous said...

I've travelled only once by Air-dec-Khan and vowed never to set foot there again when the air-hostess told me that if I wanted to occupy the front seat (with great leg space) I would have to open the emergency doorway if need be.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious. Never knew that Air Deccan had such an easy exit option, though they charge extra for the parachutes.

koidy said...

true life incident:
someone I know, was travelling by deccan from Bangalore to Hubli. Halfway through, DEccan realized they were well behind schedule, so informed the passengers that they were proceeding to Poona, and Hubli passengers would be dropped off on the way back.

Hahahahahahahahaha. No Frills, No getting to your destination either.

Loggy : லோகி said...

that was hilarious!

Nikhil Pahwa said...

Also known as Air Dhakkan.

Anonymous said...

You rock!
My conscience would be pricked each time I ridiculed somebody on my blog...BUT you guys are doing it with great aplomb.
Keep it up!
You've won me over.I promise to visit regularly.
Best regards

sac said...

and then there's Ryanair and the eternal possibility that anyone could be carrying a bomb shaped like a tube of toothpaste.

Soham Pablo said...

This is hilarious !!!!!

Ayyappa said...

Travelled Air Deccan twice. Both the times it was late as expected. Check on this link for more information about Air Dec Khan. http://truthunleashed.blogspot.com/2006_04_01_truthunleashed_archive.html

Anonymous said...

:-D You guys rock! In fact another absurd idea is -- Eunuchs would soon be traveling by such low-cost arlines and achieve a high ROI!

Anonymous said...

i dont believe u didnt publish my comment!!!! anand...chicken...publish it now....

Anonymous said...

aaaahh!!! not this one!

Anonymous said...


Came here via Desiblogging.

Anonymous said...

For Nenlos:

ALL airlines on planet earth make able bodied people sit on seats next to emergency exits so they could open the doors in the event of an emergency. I guess you either haven't flown much or you just haven't been paying attention.

Amit Shah said...

Haha.. It was just too hilarious.. Anand..
I was hoping to start a blog on WHY AIR DECCAN SUCKS.. after my ordeal yday.. but a simple google search threw up soooo maaanyy blogs !! and my search ends at ur blog !

Here is my story.
I was travelling by Air Dhakkan 603 from Delhi to Mumbai. The ETD was 3:30 PM.. And every 30 mins the flight would be delayed by one more hour.. This went on till 9 PM.. I had been fighting with them that if they planned to cancel the flight, they better tell us in time.. The lady who was the Officer incharge either had a bad cock eye.. or was trained a part of her induction.. to look everywhere except at the passenger while replying some mummbo jummbo to our querries ! and her reply - "there is ENOUGH LOAD today ( thats how they call the passenges in Air Dhakkan), so we dont think we will cancel.. And in case, we do, we will let u know !!!!!!" They offered no proper reason why the flight is delayed.. While all other flights of other companies.. ( low cost and otherwise) were leaving almost on time.. even AIr Dhakkan's other flights were leaving almost on time.. or alteast leaving.!!!!

At 9 PM there were talks of cancellation of flight by the Air Dhakkan idiots who call themselves crew.. the junta got so impatient at 9:30 PM ( flight etd was 3:30 !!) that they said.. Screw the crew !.. and proceeded to take matters in their hands.. We locked the exit doors of the airport.. and started the Air Deccan Murdabaad and Management Hai Hai naara.. YES.. BElieve it or not !!There was almost a physical bash up of the crew by the angry mob.. it was a puccka gherao kinda situation..

Finally the airport security came in .. and air dhakkan relented and flew our flight.. we hd told them that they cannot take off any other flight till they allowed our flight to take off !! The whole scene was worth watching..

..unfortuantely my camera was in the checked In luggage.. else it wud hv been a great clipping !..

But the insult on injury came in when .. the plane captain didnt even once appologize for the extraordinary delay !!..

I pray to people.. that BOYCOTT AIR DAKKAAN.. Till Capt Gopinath, comes out with a public appology for heading such a disgrace of a company ..It is not a one off incident.. It is happening daily..

I dont know what our ever so vigilant press is doing in such times !!

Anonymous said...

Though the thought was nice to make every Indian to fly at least once in his lifetime, they have jumped the que by trying to open flights to every city with a airport but with only a handful of aircrafts at their disposal. Hence any delay in flight at one station leads to delay at all connected flights of the same aircraft

Anonymous said...

difficult to imagine air dhakkan still continuing with such huge no. of complaints & folks are still patronising it..........god bless!

Anonymous said...

You all are foooooooools