Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Terrorists surrender in droves after India bans blogs.

Police stations across the country were flooded with messages from various terrorist groups now completely disabled by the ban on blog sites.

“We don’t stand a chance stop India’s technology is too good for us stop We surrender stop” read a telegram from People Using Such Sites Instead of Enlisting Soldiers (P.U.S.S.I.E.S) – a militant outfit responsible for using blogs to convince people to commit suicide by petitioning excessively. In fact there are rumors of mass bunking from more high profile terror groups like the ever unrepentant L.T.T.E.(i) (Letz Terorize The Enternet – in India) who sent their statement via sms. “u hv blked blgs 2day but v’ll brb u c” it read, showing that most terrorists have the same language skills as the average camera phone. "i c u r m t" was the curt reply from the DoT always ready to display their deadly response speeds in these troubled times.

The government however, is thrilled to bits with the unqualified success of CERT (Computer Emergency Response Team) whose only function till recently was to repeatedly install operating systems and salvage data after hard disk crashes.

“No longer will they be allowed to see their journals in reverse chronological order. No longer can they pass off crappy writing as freedom of expression. No longer will they be able to follow the activities of Bikang.” yelled an unruly group of DoT (Dept of Terror) agents as they attempted to set fire to an effigy of blogger.com. “Should it be ‘of' terror’ or ‘for' terror?” mulled the internationally acclaimed wildlife photographer S.U. Saravannakumar, as he polished off several glasses of Longislandiced Tea (LeT) to drown his sorrow at being left out from a Bosey article for the first time.

Meanwhile, happy with their out-of-the-bogs effort, the government of India is also contemplating a ban on the easy availability of white paper and blank CDs too.


Vinay said...

Good grief! They've banned blogs and now they're after CDs and paper...

Next thing you know, they'll ban off stairs.

But Bosotto Brothers must be banned!

Axe out.

Anonymous said...

Terrorists eat in restaurants. Sleep in houses/ hotels. Use phones. So ban houses. Ban hotels. Ban eating at restaurants and ban phones !! u got em !!


Anand Ramachandran said...


Foolish terrorists - they should just use SMS. Can't be banned.