Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Asian Afro Games To Be Held In 2006.

by Anand Ramachandran, who has just returned from a holiday in the Mariana Trench.

After the much hyped recently concluded Afro-Asian games in Hyderabad, the Indian Olympic Association has come up with yet another way to waste colossal amounts of the government's money – plans are on for the first ever Asian Afro games.

“It'll be great”, gushed Suresh Kalmadi, the IOA president. “Imagine, hajaar random Chinese, Japanese, Saudi, Indian and Cambodian dudes will turn up with huge Afros. It'll be like everyone's back in the seventies! Yay!!”.

Indian sports big-wig Suresh Kalmadi gets into the spirit of the Asian Afro Games

“If you prefer, you may refer to Cambodians as Kampucheans.”, he added irrelevantly.

While the Afro has seen its ups ( Clive Lloyd) and downs ( Ravinder – remember him? In Sakalakalavallavan? No? Loser!!) this is the first time that quality Afro guys will be actually competing at a continental level.

Commenting on India 's chances, wildlife photographer S.U.Saravanakumar said, “Well . . . I dunno . . . I think India 's best Afro days are well and truly over. Even stalwarts like Madan Lal, M.K.Stalin and Ravinder (Remember him? No? Gotcha – you sly paragraph skipper!!) seem to have taken rest. Apparently, our best bet is some kid named Panicker from Kerala, who seems to be showing some promise.”

The Andhra Pradesh Government, as usual, has hogged some limelight by offering to host the games. “Our Chief Minister extends his full support to any such large-scale waste of national resources. We are proud to be repeatedly associated with colossal fiascos, and will always willingly come back for more.”, said a big-nosed minister, inadvertently providing an insight into the behaviour of Telugu film producers over the past several decades.

Even as preparations for the games get underway, Kalmadi has been spotted plotting the first ever Indo-Pan-Pacific-Sub-Saharan-South Mediterranean Games. Watch this space.

This article first appeared in GILFOSIA, a print magazine we brought out a year ago. It only lasted one issue before attaining salvation. Since we're lazy slobs, we plan to recycle those little-seen articles on this site ever so often.


Straight Curves said...

You are FUNNY! :)

Anonymous said...

Omg !! laughing out loud. PLease KEEP WRITING!!!

her said...


George Bernard Waah! said...

Suresh Kal-madi needs a literal translation. KAL in tamil, MADI as a metaphor to mean his HEAD. oh, and RAVINDER wants to sue and needs a PHEW details. Office address, Name of father's father, Name of your pet dog, Name of lawyer in 1996, location of court, transport facilities available including BUS numbers and chances of damages - meaning, what does your dad own?

Anonymous said...

Sakalakalavallavan, ahahahahahahahahaha. Hey, you guys are doing a great job. Wish I had come across this site earlier!