Thursday, June 02, 2005

David Hasselhoff caught up in identity theft mishap.

by Vinay Nilakantan

It has been reported that eighties television icon, David Hasselhoff had fallen victim to the newest wave of credit card scams – identity theft. A visibly shaken Hasselhoff addressed a press conference with a copy of his latest credit card bill.

He claimed that his curiosity was sparked when, on his latest VISA bill, he found purchases of a Gucci handbag, the newest J-Lo perfume, a subscription to Cosmopolitan and the latest Ricky Martin album. Co-incidentally, it was a DVD purchase of a ‘David Hasselhoff Live' concert that convinced the actor that he had fallen victim to identity theft.

David Hasselhoff simultaneously displays his VISA card and his nipples (not in picture).

“I have five copies of that DVD. It's not on my calendar to buy that DVD again for the next six months” said an elated Hasselhoff, glad that he was able to nail the evidence.

The Baywatch star was quick to contact the credit card company, which was very particular about wrapping up such a high profile case as quickly and quietly as possible. “Our client likes everything to be discreet, and hates attracting unnecessary attention”, said a spokesman for the company, drawing peals of hysterical laughter from the whole world, as Hasselhoff stood nearby dressed only in red underpants and flexing his sagging muscles.

“Fortunately, I have not lost my entire identity”, joked Hasselhoff with his trademark smile and a knowing wink.

Fans of David Hasselhoff have shown an outpouring of support through this troubled time for the actor. “Wierzhut Hasselhoff” – the flagship fan group for the star has resorted to a five day fast while picketing through the streets of Luxembourg . “We like to see David Hasselhoff drive cars and save drowning people. He is a gift to whole world and yet has to suffer common problems like these” said one irate fan club member.

The accused is said to be a man named Timothy Madhukar, a long-time Hasselhoff impersonator . On asking to comment, Madhukar repeatedly stated that he was innocent and wants his name cleared of all the charges. “I am an innocent man trying to make an honest living in Germany , just like Hasselhof.”, he said.

David Hasselhoff, now in Hamburg promoting his latest fitness video, was just awarded the International Star of the Year for Outstanding Global Entertainment at the Bollywood Music Awards in New Jersey .

“My career has never been greater” said the star. “I'm all set to start touring Poland in winter.”


... said...

Poland eh???? ooooooooooo...

The war has been over for decades. John (paul) has been replaced by Joseph (ratzinger) and still these Germans are wading into Poland...

Or is it all just a publicity stunt by certain displaced natives ??? (eyebrows raised conspiratorially)

hmmmm... the thick plottens.

Anonymous said...

Timothy 'Meesai' Madhukar?? Ex-lead singer of Burn? What happened of all the Bon Jovi impersonation cases against him? And the Burt Reynolds law suit? And the request for refund for a Burn concert I attended in 1993?
Is anyone listening? Am I going to get a response to this with more questions?

Anand Ramachandran said...

Poor Ole Timmy - see how all world famous celebs are trying to bust him.

Vinay said...

But look at the stuff on david Hasselhoff's visa bill...See what and all Timmy has been buying!

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brihaspati said...

Its awesome to see bosey re-incarnated. Keep the irreverent and pithy observations coming.

Arun Natarajan said...
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