Saturday, February 04, 2012

Kamal Haasan jokes failing to gain popularity on Twitter, Facebook.

While Rajinikanth jokes have become pretty much ubiquitous, showing up practically everywhere - SMS, Twitter, Facebook, newspapers,  Kapil Sibal's armpit - research has found that jokes featuring arch-rival Kamal Haasan are yet to gain the same level of popularity.
Our reporter scoured the Internet for some examples of Kamal Haasan jokes, and unearthed some :

Fifteen guys and three women walk into a bar. All of them are Kamal Haasan in make-up.

Why is Kamal Haasan's butt so round and smooth? Because he's always rolling his Rs.

What is Kamal Haasan's father's name ? Did you say Kamalaha ? WRONG! It's Grandfather!! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!

However, these jokes seem to be lagging behind Rajinikanth jokes in term of RTs and Facebook likes.

"Rajinikanth jokes are popular everywhere - even North Indians from Bollywood to Bengal enjoy them. Comparatively, Kamal Haasan jokes do not have a pan-Indian appeal. They seem to be popular only among assistant directors, middle-class TOI readers who still live in the eighties, and a man known only as RS Prasanna." said Cho.Ramaswamy, who is asked for his opinion on absolutely everything.

"It could be because, like his movies, Rajinikanth jokes are fun and easy to understand. Probably the public finds Kamal Haasan jokes too arty and self-indulgent." said Cho. "One has to admit these days that Facebook likes are more important than just quality. I am told even the Rafale deal went through because the Rafale aircraft had more FB likes than the Typhoon. You can check with Kapil Sibal." he added, before inexplicably saying "Armpit."

Kamal Haasan himself has been pretty gracious about the whole situation. "Zhajinikanth, my gzheat fzhiend, is like the Zhambo of Indian Cinema. He is zheaping the zhewards of his hazhd wozhk. I congzhatulate him wholeheazhtedy.", he said. Kamal also said that he is confident that Kamal Haasan jokes will also eventually gain popularity.

"Zhemember, failuzhe is the stepping stone to success." he said, cursing inwardly that there were no Rs to roll in the second part of his sentence.

However, Kamal denied that he had hired a team of writers to come up with Kamal Haasan jokes in a calculated move to close the gap with Rajini - something he has been trying to do since the breakthrough success of Sivaji : The Boss. "That's nonsense. Everyone knows that only Rajinikanth can come up with decently funny Kamal Haasan jokes." he winked.
Superstar Rajinikanth tries to come up with a Kamal Haasan joke, while Kamal Haasan (Grand) looks on patiently.
Before leaving, he stopped to ask a question "Oh, by the way - What is this whole 'Grand' business? Anybody know where it started ?"  - and ended up sparking off another round of random speculation.

The popularity of Rajinikanth jokes has led to a sudden spurt in other Tamil actor based jokes on the Internet, as fans try to get their heroes their fair share of the limelight. Among these are :

Thala Ajith jokes, which are jokes that open remarkably well but then fizzle out - "Ajith walks into a bar holding an iPhone and a squirrel's tail. Then he falls down."

Vijay Saar jokes, which consist purely of punch lines - "Because two Vijays are better than one! A centipede with a shotgun! That's what SHE said!"

Vadivel jokes, which aren't funny but which the teller attempts to make hilarious simply by shouting- "A man falls into a bucket of shit. FUS-DO-RAH!"

And it's not just current stars - heroes of yesteryear are also getting jokes of their own. There are SS Rajendran jokes (which are jokes told with a silly grin and a pencil moustache), AVM Rajan jokes (jokes which nobody remembers or cares about) and Major Sunderrajan jokes (which are jokes told in Tamil, followed immediately by a verbatim translation in English). Good times for all.

Meanwhile, India's minister for Communications and Information Technology Kapil Sibal has said that he does not have any intentions of censoring Rajinikanth jokes on the Internet. "Preposterous. Next, people are going to accuse me of censoring my own armpit.", he said.