Crusaders for political correctness in
everyday communication have proved that nothing escapes their notice
– they are now insisting that the term 'politically incorrect'
should be replaced with 'politically differently correct'.
“Who are we to judge something and
label it as 'incorrect' ? It is cruel . .er . . I mean, differently
kind, and completely unwarran . . er . .ah . . . differently
warranted.”, said political correctness activist Venu Kapoor,
struggling to stay within the bounds of political correctness
herself.
“We declare that it is politically
differently correct to call something 'politically incorrect'. ”,
she explained, cleverly avoiding recursion by resorting to ridiculous
nomenclature. She then left in a hurry to meet her lawyers, to get
her name changed legally to Venu Kadifferentlyrich. “Sounds vaguely
Russian, no? Exotic.”, she quipped.
“Jeez. What next? Will they suggest
that we say 'differently identical' as opposed to 'different' ?”
asked wildlife photographer S.U.Saravanakumar, effortlessly bringing
recursion back into focus. “This has got to stop. Or, if you'd
prefer, 'differently continue'.”, he winked, pleased at his snippet debut.
'The Next Kapil Dev', the talented but differently consistent cricketer who was often accused of differently blooming under pressure. |
Of course, the usual suspects have quickly pounced on the opportunity, and tried to gain some mileage for themselves.
“Agreed. Now Pakistan should be
called 'Different India'.” said a suitably hysterical Arnab
Goswami, wiping beads of sweat that were forming on his brow, while
ignoring those that were forming on his upper-lip. He also later
admitted that he saw no need to wear pants, since he mostly appeared
on camera only from torso upwards.
“I'm not guilty. I am merely
'differently innocent'.”, said Amir Ajmal Kasab, between insisting
that he was in fact also Robert DeNiro, an electric hamster, and the
gunman on the grassy knoll.
“Hereafter, Mac snobs can't hurt the
feelings of Windows losers . . er . . users. We'll have to refer to
them as 'different Mac users'. Damn. Not the same.” rued Priya
Krishnan, cancelling her plans to pre-order the
iPad in disgust.
This development clearly indicates how
far the whole 'political correctness' movement has come, a far cry
from when they used to merely object to fairly derogatory terms such
as 'Nigger', 'Disabled' and 'Ajit Agarkar', insisting on substituting
them with terms like 'African American', 'Differently Abled' and
'Next Kapil Dev'.