Monday, March 16, 2009

Residents violently protest against plans to erect Goundamani statue in Beverly Hills.

By Anand Ramachandran, a card-carrying member of 'Rasanakatta mummy-daddies'.


In a bizarre incident that oddly mirrors the protests in Karnataka over the Charlie Chaplin statue, residents of the town of Beverly Hills, California have taken to the streets over the proposal to erect a statue of Tamil film comedian Goundamani in their neighbourhood.


“We won't allow it! Goundamani is an outsider – he is not a part of Hollywood Industry! He is not a union member! He is not fair-skinned! He is not blonde! He is not even Christian! He is against American culture! ”, said a furious californian man named Brad, stating a number of blindingly obvious things about Goundamani, and sounding eerily like a member of the Assistant Director's Union. He soon urged the members of the mob to follow him, looking haughtily into the skies and hollering “Vaanga publics, now naanga yellarum togetheraa protesting – wokaaaay?” in a sing-song manner.


Comedian Goundamani and Superstar Rajnikanth share a friendly moment at the regional semi-finals of the All-India wig wearing championships.


Apparently, the move was proposed by the members of an obscure group called the California United National Tamil Sangam, for the noble cause of spreading Tamil culture in Beverly Hills. “These people in Beverly Hills are becoming too much attracted to American Culture, and are becoming completely westernized. So we want to do our bit to strengthen Tamil culture among them so that they will all become just like us.”, said Thol. Kaa. Thiruneermalavazhappazhaththaithinnavanthavan, the Director In Charge of the California United National Tamil Sangam, turning away from his computer terminal to give us a sound byte. “ Come on, Diana! Back to professional timepass!”, he added, before returning to typing furiously using his elbows.


Apparently, the statue, which is ready for installation, captures Goundamani in his trademark pose – kicking fellow comedian Senthil on the behind. The statue shows Goundamani in mid-kick, one foot on the ground and the other making contact with Senthil's enormous derriere. The comedian himself has reportedly given his approval, with a press release that stated “Statue of Libertyaavadhu, Statue of Pubertyaavadhu! Adhu yellam kadakkatumdaa, come on friends, bring the new stachoo and start kondattams! Yah!


“Hey, I know that guy! He's the one who always kicks the other guy and calls him names! He's okay – I don't see a problem with a statue of him! It'll be fun!” said Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, surprising everyone by actually recognizing Goundamani. “Hahahaha – what's that thing he says? Wait . . I got it . . . Dai Kaattu Panni! Hahahaha!”, he signed off, marking possibly the first time that those words were uttered by someone with a thick east-european accent.


Sparks are flying fast and furious, as is the case when any such 'culturally sensitive' issue crops up.


“Goundamani's body of work, unlike those of the poets Thiruvalluvar or Ilango Adigal, is not exactly the best tool to spread Tamil culture among the undoubtedly westernized denizens of Beverly Hills, even assuming you wanted to do so.”, said Shankar Sundaram, a noted proponent of Tamil culture, and a renowned Goundamani scholar. “Just imagine the results if you were successful – thousands of white American people walking around screaming “Dai Kaattu Yerumai!!” through gritted teeth, and kicking people who ask them simple questions about objects such as lemons or the half-moon. I doubt that anyone really wants this scenario.”



Goundamani berates fellow comedian and sidekick Senthil for refusing to enter the All-India wig wearing championships.

“Why would anyone want to erect a statue of Goundamani in the United States? Why would you want to prevent American people from following American culture?” asked an obviously annoyed wildlife photographer S.U.Saravanakumar, cutting through the clutter and asking the right questions as always. “Considering how often Goundamani spits, the only culture he might spread is Sputum culture!”, he grinned, getting the best lines once again.


“Why is everyone in this post spouting Goundamani-style lines?” asked an irritated Priya Krishnan, inadvertently breaking the fourth wall. “Just because they are speaking on an issue related to Goundamani doesn't mean they have to speak like him! What nonsense bloody disturbance yaa – come to me, Peter! Disco dance aadalam – start meezik! ”, she said, clapping once and making an expression like a constipated CBI officer.


“What's all this nonsense about statues of comedians in strange places? Chaplin in Karnataka! Goundamani in Beverly Hills! What next? A statue of Johhny Lever on the IIT campus? A statue of Advaniji on the moon?” asked BJP leader and Gujarat CM Narendra Modi, letting slip his true opinion of the party supremo. “And while they're making statues of comedians, they may as well do one of Eddie Blake and put it up near India Gate.”, he winked, smartly cornering the comic-book geek vote bank in the process.


Meanwhile, the proposed statue has also caused consternation and envy among other comedians in the Tamil film industry, such as Vadivel, Vivek, Karunaas and Prashanth. "We have been unselected.", said a visibly disappointed Vivek. "But who cares? At least I have a Padma Shri, unlike these other losers.", he added with a smirk, brightening up instantly.

45 comments:

Marc said...

Another hilarious post that had me laughing! The Goundamani lines were spot on!

Anonymous said...

i dont know if this is funnier or the true story itself.. altho, this was very funny, mind you..

Anonymous said...

'California United National Tamil Sangam'

LOL. That's probably the acronym of the decade.
Oh, wait - sorry - I have a dirty mind, not you :p

R S Prasanna said...

anne!

Anonymous said...

I had to wait 3 weeks for this post - three weeks!

You guys have got to post more often :-)

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

ps3noob - I'll be sure to inform the Director In Charge ;)

Daniel - Yeah, I know. But for every reader who demands more posts, there are five who demand that we stop postimg altogether - so one needs to strike a balance :)

Everyone - thanks for reading Son of Bosey.

Alan Smithee said...

Bit wordy. But the redeeming line came towards the end. "...in the Tamil film industry, such as Vadivel, Vivek, Karunaas and Prashanth..."

Anna Bond said...

What an acronym!
Whatte Director in Charge! :)

Anonymous said...

Damn, i need to learn more than putta pavada and there*@!$$@ya.

no signal said...

"typing furiously using his elbows"
“What's all this nonsense about statues of comedians in strange places? Chaplin in Karnataka! Goundamani in Beverly Hills! What next? A statue of Johhny Lever on the IIT campus? A statue of Advaniji on the moon?”


Masterpiece :)

Elithraniel Arawion said...

"Thiruneermalavazhappazhaththaithinnavanthavan, the Director In Charge of the California United National Tamil Sangam"

ROTFL!!!! amazing post :)

Anand said...

California United National Tamil Sangam yegainisht the Federated Union of Cineworkers Karnataka (South)?

That is sooper dagalti velai aaphisar!

Nitin said...

3 weeks is too long.. I'd almost given up.. the foreboding thought that THIS IS THE END cropped up several times!

The fact that you don't make money out of your work can be huge discouragement for several aspiring nonsense writers (which I believe is a very elevated form of writing).

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Anonymous - If you want to remain anonymous, you need to stop dropping hints to your true identity ;)

Nitin - blame it on my day job - which is my real source of income ;)

Anonymous said...

Hilarious post, vintage Bosey. Whatay.

How do you guys get these ideas dae? Simbly marvellous I say. Bhesh Bhesh.

And Oh man - the California United National Tamil Sangam!!! What an acronym, says the perv in me.

Gorfus Horribulus said...

Andy,

I think I prefer the name used to refer to me in the Ambi Mama post...

But, I am thrilled to make an appearance on Bosey after a long time!

Perhaps I will just purse my lips and wait for the December music season...

priya krishnan said...

u said "erect" hehehehehe....

and wats so perverted abt all this California United National Tamil Sangam talk? ;)

:P

Gradwolf said...

woah, so many goundamani culture references, 16 comments so far and nobody has said this?

"arasiyal la idhellam sadharanam appa!"

The above statement is the new 42.

Idling in Top Gear said...

LOL - This post was brilliant.

Particularly enjoyed Thol. Kaa. Thiruneermalavazhappazhaththaithinnavanthavan,
no doubt also known as the "Che Guvera of the South"-ern part of California :D

Anonymous said...

Hilarious ! LOLz......

Anonymous said...

You have to explain this "rasanakatta mummy-daddies" to the uninitiated. I am itching to know! Especially since you've been going on about it on FB also.

Anonymous said...

Second read - Too many funny things in this post!! Rolling with laughter. Mr. Thol. Ka. Banana Man was a brilliant addition. Statue of Puberty!!! Hahaha. Disg max.

Lavanya said...

Sathyasodhanai.


Usuallynga, I come blog-nga, readnga, laughnga and then go-nga. But nownga, thalaivar paththi post reading-nga prandu prandu laughing-nga commmenting-nga.

Ok-nga.Super-nga. Thanks-nga.

The Mudd said...

oWnage post !!
I'm just imagining him say "Dei statue thalay thalaya" to the statue.

The Mudd said...

oh oh i forgot...
the residents will be charged 25 cents for viewing the statue. A board outside will read " Take that 25 !"

Sue said...

hahahaha! fabulous i say!

Vikram said...

Hilarious..!!Very nicely interlaced with the right jabs towards current mindlessness of politics and moral policing..!

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Gorfus - At least I didn't refer to your much-vaunted Geographical pseudonym.

Gradwolf - Please not to mistaking. Bloggingla idhu yellam sagajam appa ;)

And, due to the unexpected cult status gained by Thol.Kaa.Thiru, he just might make more appearances on Son of Bosey :)

Anonymous said...

that was hilarious anand! and of course 3 weeks is too long! anyone asking you to stop writing is only rasana ketta mummy daddy!!

Anonymous said...

Great post! I tried to imagine the expression of a constipated CBI officer and the result was hilarious.

Learning to build web apps fast said...

really cool, Everything I wanted to mentioned has been commented already!.. I got ur blog in my recommended list in google reader..

Thanks to google reader..

Learning to build web apps fast said...

who is this comedian Prashanth ?

Deepak Gopalakrishnan said...

While we're on the subject of, erm, suggestive acronyms - do you know there's an actual poiltical party in Kerala called the Democratic Indira Congress (Karunakaran)? I'm not making this up! :D

@ Anand's twin - don't thank us... thank you for writing SOB (oops! another one!)

Anonymous said...

ROFLMAO !

Am voting for Statue of Puberty !

RR said...

Cool one Anand :)
And waht with not using the acronym ;) family blog eh !!

Anonymous said...

Yenna Koduma sir ithu.

haiyo haiyo (in vadivel style). padichale kanna katuthe, itha ilutha yevlo kasta pattu irukanum

Anonymous said...

T.K.T was a killer. vadukupatti ramasamy ku ooooooooooo!!!

Ramprasad said...

TR's stachoo would have been better than Gounder's, i say!!
Moreover TR's sense of Tamil culture is much superior IMHO.
Refer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy4AzEp6YuY&feature=related

Hope you write a word or two about him too sometime soon! ;)

ramesh said...

i have just discovered your blog (via another blog). Really fabulous humour. U sure have a pulse for the ridiculous and the innane in India today. Great work guys.

Unknown said...

California United National Tamil Sangam! (The C-word :))
LOL :D Thats an awesome acronym

By the way, hilarious blog!!

Unknown said...

very funny.
could do with some editing.

Anonymous said...

ukkanthu yosipaangalo!!!!

Freya said...

OMG, that was hilarious.

But Tamil Sangams exist in many places, though i really doubt whether all these folks ever speak in Tamil. Like my dad won some contest in which he had to use an English word as much as possible.

Anonymous said...

"Vaanga publics!" hahahah you really have a good ear Mr Anand, it's like poetry, almost hehe.

Ramasswamy V said...

Oh my God ! amazing humour..esp the 'come on peter, start mezik"... Brilliant anand !