Friday, December 26, 2008

Man throws DVD of 'Drona' at Dr.Manmohan Singh during press conference, admits he did it to boost miserable sales!

by Anand Ramachandran, who is very, very sorry about the previous 'Digvijay Singh' post.

In a bizarre copycat incident of the now-famous Bush shoe-throwing incident, an unidentified man threw a copy of the DVD version of the recent Abhishek Bachchan dud 'Drona' at Prime Minister Dr.Manmohan Singh at a recent press conference, stunning the PM and his security guards.

The man, who was immediately overpowered and arrested by security forces, later confessed to police that he did it in order to boost the DVD sales of the miserable flop film. “I am told that the model that was thrown at Bush has been in great demand since the shoe-throwing incident. I thought his would be a great way to create at least some demand for this ridiculous film that I've been saddled with marketing.”, he said gloomily. Apparently, the as-yet unnamed man is an employee with Eros entertainment, the producers of Drona.

The thrown DVD of Drona whizzes past the head of Dr.Manmohan Singh and thuds into a random foreign dignitary, not the first time that the movie has completely missed its mark.

Dr.Singh himself has reacted with great composure, saying “I'm a bit disappointed, but not shocked. I've already seen Drona, and thought it was silly and dull. I'd have much preferred a copy of Gears of War 2.”, revealing a hitherto unknown facet of his personality.

U.S. President George W.Bush has reportedly called up the PMO to express his solidarity and support. According to an official press release, President Bush said “I stand with Dr.Singh during this difficult time, and completely agree that Gears of War 2 would have been a far better option.”

Congress President Mrs. Sonia Gandhi presents an obviously delighted Dr.Singh with a copy of Gears of War 2.

The unexpected and shocking incident, following so close on the heels of Bush's 'goodbye kiss' in Iraq, has created shockwaves across India.

“I don't understand why Dr.Singh keeps harping on some irrelevant nonsense about Gears of War 2 being a better thing to get beaned with. He needs to realize that Gears of War 2 has sold millions of copies, so it needs no help.”, said gaming industry analyst Vinay Nilakantan. “However, it would help if someone threw a copy of Need for Speed Undercover at Obama one of these days, to revive the flagging fortunes of the franchise.”, he added.

“The last thing this country needs is people disrespecting the PM by chucking random DVDs of Bollywood flops at him. But look at the bright side, at least those bulky U-Matic tapes are no longer in circulation.”, winked renowned wildlife photographer S.U.Saravanakumar, displaying his keen knowledge of trends in the magnetic storage media industry.

“In this hour of great national crisis, a great majority of Indians are asking one important question. The nation wants to know. So can somebody in a position of responsibility pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease give an answer? What the heck is Gears of War 2?” wheezed an impossibly earnest looking Barkha Dutt, managing to be breathless and clueless at the same time.

The idea, however, has sparked the imaginations of marketing boffins all over the nation, giving them a great new way to publicize their overpriced, useless and uninteresting products, which no one wants to buy. If the marketing grapevine is to be believed, there are plans to throw a Worldspace radio at Mayawati, a copy of Deccan Chronicle at Ashok Gehlot, and, strangely, an old Motorola pager at Farooq Abdullah. The makers of electric car Reva, when asked if they were considering the tactic, replied “Damn! Foiled again! Though the Reva is light by normal car standards, it is still impossible to fling it far enough to reach a target such as H.D.Kumaraswamy or M.K.Stalin with any considerable velocity. Maybe we should have stuck to making transistors! ”

In related news, a man was arrested in California after throwing a copy of 'Need for Speed Undercover' at Gears of War 2 creator Clifford Bleszinski, in a desperate attempt to revive the flagging fortunes of the franchise.

“I really dig Vijay Singh.” - Digvijay Singh

Former Madhya Pradesh chief minister Digvijay Singh has revealed that he is a major fan of golfer Vijay Singh. “Myself Digvijay Singh. I dig Vijay Singh.”, he said, confusing the crap out of the foreign journalists gathered for a party at his residence.

“Digvijay Singh did dig Vijay Singh, but did Vijay Singh dig Digvijay Singh?, asked a wag, tongue firmly in cheek, which makes the achievement even more significant.

“What if Vijay Singh dug Digvijay Singh more than Digvijay Singh dug Vijay Singh?”, asked a wit.

“Wait . . here's another! Digvijay Singh dug Vijay Singh, but the dug Vijay Singh didn't dig Digvijay Singh because he only dug Dig-Dug!” chimed in a clown, showing off his knowledge of old coin-op classics.

The party wrapped up shortly after that, due to an outbreak of twisted tongues.