Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Fearing SIMI ban, Simi Garewal contemplates name change.

On hearing that the Government of India was going to toughen its stand on the controversial Islamic student organisation SIMI, actress Simi Garewal is reportedly looking to change her name. “Shite”, said the former star “They're going to ban Simi. This is crappy. Now I'll have to change my name to something less controversial. Maybe I'll go with RSS Garewal. Or BCCI Garewal. Or even VHP Garewal. Damn – all those sound like army-based Sardarjis who participate in Equestrian events. Waaaaaah!” she wailed in despair. She also strongly objected to being referred to as 'former star' in the previous sentence.

In related news, the yesteryears star (hahaha – see how resourceful we are - editor.) also planned to finally abandon her trademark white clothes, since she had heard that the Government had plans to 'ban the SIMI outfit'.

Ram Gopal Verma unexpectedly 'drops in' on Obama speech, Simpsons episode.

Film director Ram Gopal Verma surprised international media when he unexpectedly popped up at several unconnected events that had nothing whatsoever to do with him, including an address by US president elect Barack Obama, a closed-door session of the BCCI to discuss the pakistan tour, and an episode of the Simpsons. “I don't understand what the big deal is. I just happened to be passing by at each of these occasions, and randomly decided to drop in. Any one would have done the same.”, said an agitated Verma, in response to widespread bewilderment at his sudden ubiquity. He also dismissed speculation that he had the power to be in several places at the same time, saying “What nonsense. Who do you think I am? P.James?”

Rumour has it that RGV is also planning to 'randomly drop in' at several future events such as India's first manned space mission, the next AGM of the State Bank of India, and Pope Benedict's medical check-up. Strangely, he has said that he has no plans to attend screenings of any of his forthcoming films, since he doesn't like large, empty spaces.