Friday, March 07, 2008

Government awards Padma Shri to Shri Shri Ravishankar, causing spiritual leader to be called Padma Shri Shri Shri Ravishankar.

by Anand Ramachandran, in a thinly veiled attempt to hijack the search string 'Shri'.

The Government of India has conferred the coveted PadmaShri award to the renowned spiritual leader Shri Shri Ravishankar, which has led to the delightful side effect of adding another extra Shri before his name, to go with the two that are already present in that location.

H.H. Shri Shri Ravishankar (H.H.S.S.Ravishankar for short), maintains his usual grace and composure in the face of his impending name change. H.H. Shri Shri Ravishankar is no relation of H.H.Gibbs (not in picture).

“ I guess he'll have to be referred to as Padma Shri Shri Shri Ravishankar! Heh heh. Just like Rin Tin Tin. Well, at least sort of.”, mused wildlife photographer S.U.Saravanakumar, wasting no time in making his presence felt in the first Bosey post in a while.

“Grrr. This blows. Now I'll have to press Ctrl-V with far greater frequency when I write an article about His Holiness. And Microsoft Word will add that annoying red underline under even more words. Damn.”, complained upcoming history-book writer Nandini Reddy. “Why? Oh – I usually place the word 'Shri' on the clipboard, and then simply paste it whenever I need to. I am teh_pwnzor at using M5 w0r|) !”, she added with a smirk, stunning nearby gamers with her unexpected proficiency in 733t.

However, leading scientists have already come up with several ways to deal with the problem. “ Using clever mathematical notation, the name can be quite easily written as Padma 3(Shri) Ravishankar or even Padma Shri3 Ravishankar. Much neater than even his original name.”, pointed out noted mathematics personality Sheela Shankar, to a round of warm applause from Nandini Reddy, of previous paragraph fame.

The move has completely overshadowed a similar situation that has occured with the Government also announcing the same award for cricketer SreeSanth and actress (actor? Whatever.) Sridevi. “That's not really in the same league. Everyone knows that three is better than two, just like four is better than two.”, babbled little-known logician Aravind Murali, before staging a remarkable turnaround in quality by quipping “ The only potential here is if Sreesanth becomes a Saint, after which he can become 'Santh Santhakumaran Padma Shri Sree Santh'. Like Kumar Karthik Kumar!”

S.Sreesanth tries out a turban, to achieve his lifelong ambition of looking a little bit more like Subramaniya Bharathi. Or Bhagat Singh. Or that dude from the SPIC logo.

Not one to be left behind, world famous Tamil actor Kamal Haasan (Grand to friends), has been quick to jump onto the bandwagon. “I have so far been calling myself PadmaShri Kamal Haasan, but, since I have won the Rajat Kamal several times, I will henceforth be known as Rajat Kamal Kamal Haasan.”, said Grand, before inexplicably adding “I'm in the undezhrrbuhhlleee of the aizhczhaft”. The film industry grapevine also reveals that popular hero Vijay (Vijay Saar to friends), since he has been given an honorary Ph.D by some suck-up university, is insisting on being referred to as “Dr. Mr.Vijay Saar”.

“It's a good thing there's no award called 'Padma Sai'. Imagine the scene if there were names such as Padma Sai Sai Baba, and Padma Sai Saikkanth”, sniggered well known anthropology student Sankalesh Jimmy, needlessly modifying the name Srikkanth just to fit in with his joke.

Reliable sources also reveal that the HRD ministry is showing more signs of a wicked sense of humour by instituting an award called 'Padma John Smith', and awarding it to random guys in the United Kingdom.