Monday, April 16, 2007

We Are Not Champions - The Ballad of the Indian Batsmen

by Anand Ramachandran, a fan of champions, Indian cricket, and Queen.

'We are the champions' is probably one of the most popular songs among dumb sports fans, who actually believe that Freddie, Brian and the boys wrote it just for THEIR team! However, even the dumbest Indian cricket fan would have trouble believing that the famous lyrics could be appropriate for the Men in Blue. However, with just some slight modifications, the stalwarts at Son of Bosey have come up with, and are proud to present a ballad specially for our much-vaunted batting line-up. Enjoy, and don't forget to sing to the tune of 'We are the champions', by Queen.

Members of India's mighty middle order have been photographed individually and put together using clever digital imaging wizadry for this album cover, since the BCCI forbids more than three of them from being photographed together.

We've made excuses,

Time after Time,

The team always loses,

Without reason or rhyme

And bad mistakes

Well, more than a few

We've had our share of chances thrown our way

but we've got screwed

We are not champions, my friends

We'll keep in-fighting till the end

We aren't champions,

We'll ne-er be champions

No time for practice

So we won't be champions

Of the world

We've gone out to bat

and faced many balls

You've bowled us bouncers and long hops and half-volleys and outswingers

We've got out to them all.

How do we stay in there?

We've run out of clues.

We consider it a challenge to last even a minute

against any ball that moves.

And he's gone . . he's gone . . he's gone . . . .

We were the champions my friends,

We'll keep reminding, and pretend

That we are still champions

Yeah, we are still champions

No time for practice

So let's just be champions

Of yesteryears


Mahadevan said...

Moving balls, Murali and Malinga mesmerise us.

We play Dhyanchand's dribbing with Cricket bat,

bouncers and yorkers bend our wickets

Can we get a 'doosra' innings to play ?

Anonymous said...

They're all a bunch of Queens alright! On the plus side, Sachin pulls off the blonde teen look. He should give it a shot - he's already got the voice.

Anonymous said...


Ravages/CC said...


GS said...

Here's my shot..since I am not familiar with English song lyrics, I chose this popular tune:

Jingling coins, jingling coins, jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to shoot, ad commercials all the day…hey!
Jingling coins, jingling coins, jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to go to the bank, laughing all the way…hey!

Crashing out of the world cup, with an unimpressive cricketing display
What’s our motivation, hey…we’re millionaires by the way
Over a Billion Indian fools, will drool over us any day
As long as this goes on, there’s no changing, come what may…hey!

Jingling coins, jingling coins…and so on.

Anonymous said...

good one. These cricketers are just bafoons who are just money hungry and should be kicked out of the country.

Ravages/CC said...

something you might like, sir.

Anonymous said...

interesting. satire in a poem (or Ballad) format is difficult...and you seem to have managed it quite well.

Varun C said...

Great one man!!!!!!!!!!