A comprehensive, and potentially exciting, census has just been launched by the Government of India to gain in-depth information about copulation in different parts of the nation.
Sources reveal that this happy accident is the result of a typing mistake in a memo sent from the Prime Minister's Office to the Census Authority.
“Kindly launch comprehensive census of Indian copulation. Detailed information required.”, reads the memo, which was leaked to the press by the Department of Press Leaks, now a fully ratified Government body.
“Population! Population with a 'P' ! That's what I meant to type!”, yelled the flustered secretary responsible for the error. Thankfully, no-one heard him, and several strategically important find-replace operations later, the census was launched.
|One of the newly appointed census officers studies some official documents for India's first copulation census|
Apparently, thousands of census officers will have the delightful job of traversing the length and breadth of the country, collecting details on copulation density, copulation distribution, copulation of senior citizens, and NRI copulation. “Yay! At last this job has paid off !”, said a spokesman for the POpulation Resarchers of the Nation (P.O.R.N), which has been hastily renamed to COpulation Researchers of the Nation (C.O.R.N.)
To facilitate the nationwide survey, the Central Government has requested the State Governments to appoint State Express Census Surveyors (SECS), whose main job will be to collect data on Human Biological Bedroom Activity (HUBBA). “ The success of the census will depend on the performance of secs all over the country, and how well they can gather information on nationwide Hubba.”, said Cleveland Shankar, to much enthusiastic clapping from all around.
The announcement of the census has sparked off unpredictable reactions among the general public.
“Haun”, said Chinni Jayanth and Gandhimathi in unison, when asked for their opinion on the issue. Gandhimathi also crinked up her eyes and bit her lower lip for added effect, while Chinni Jayanth simply clapped his hands and looked skywards.
|Kapil Dev and Jimmy Amarnath, holding the world cup they won in 1983, express their delight at the announcement of the copulation census|
“Everyone knows that copulation is the reason for population. But the minds of youngsters should not be exposed to such pollutation, so to Tamil culture I give my salutation.”, said an excited T.Rajendherr (TR to friends and everyone else), slyly making up words to fit in with his rhyming.
However, the last word, as always, belonged to (all together now) wildlife photographer S.U.Saravanakumar. “ Since the purpose of the census is to 'reveal all', let's hope nothing is kept behind 'closed doors'.”, he quipped with his trademark humour.