Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Kamal Haasan Continues to Age

by Anand Ramachandran, who also continues to age

World famous acting great Kamal Haasan's ageing process is speeding along merrily, revealed a press release from Raj Kamal films last week. “Kamal is looking olde3r than ever”, beamed a spokesman for the company, somehow managing to use leet in spoken conversation.

A close look at this picture of Kamal reveals wrinkles, sagging skin and evidence of plastic surgery, even on his face!

“Thinning hair – check. Sagging jowls – check. Michael Jackson skin – check.”, said a grinning wildlife photographer S.U.Saravanakumar, tongue-in-cheek for once. “I feel he'll shortly begin to resemble Sir Ian McKellen without his Magneto mask.”, he added, making it two invaluable contributions for this article.

Addressing concerns that getting older may prevent the actor from accepting romantic and action-oriented lead roles in the future, noted film critic Sankalesh Jimmy noted “ This hasn't proved to be an obstacle to legends like Dr.Rajkumar, Nageswara Rao, Krishna and the evergreen Chinni Jayanth. So I think Kamal (Grand to friends) is going to be okay”

Grand's (Kamal Haasan's to non-friends) slowly but steadily noticeable ageing process is another indication of an alarming epidemic that seems to have also affected other leading actors Vijaykanth, Tom Hanks and Aamir Khan (who is beginning to look disturbingly like Tom Hanks). The only person completely unaffected by the syndrome appears to be Keith Richards – since science has shown that he cannot possibly get any older.

“Doesn't matter if he's old – I still find him hot.”, said an excited Bindhumalini Narayanaswamy, managing to convey her opinion on Grand and Sean Connery in the same sentence.

Kamal Haasan's comments were too unclear for the Son of Bosey team to comprehend, as they were made in an accent that contained influences from London, Thirunelveli, Burma and The Solomon Islands.


Anonymous said...

The ending was hilarious. grand has two accents actually, one the local accent for the local tamil film makers and the other british accent which he uses in bollywood get togethers.

sac said...

KH has always reminded me of Mel Gibson.. good actor to start with, then deteriorated into a frenzy of face-twitching overacting.
am a victim of Jowls Syndrome myself, but thankfully not L'Accent GLX.

techrsr said...

Anand, this has to be one of your most underrated posts! Who'd ever think of using 1337 in spoken conversation. Also the Keith Richards reference. Mind blowing, or as Russell Peters would say "Mind Blasting".